Myths About Abuse

 Believing these myths can help those in such a relationship feel that it IS there fault or that their situation is different from everyone elses.  Believing the myths can also cause others to speculate about someone elses abusive relationship.

• Men are the abusers and women are the victims. (Either gender may be the abuser or the victim - men abusing women are just the ones we are more likely to hear about)
•  He/she should have known better before marrying/living with him/her.  (The abuser does not always show this behavior until they are more involved with the person and by then the person may be blind to what is going on.)
• It only happens in trailer parks or among those who are less well off. (It can happen in any neighborhood among any group of people)
• They use drugs and/or alcohol. (Certainly that could make the problem worse but it is not necessarily a cause)
• He/she was abused as a child and that is what they are used to. (Sometimes that may be the case  - but not necessarily)
• There are bruises, broken bones, etc (Sometimes the abuse is not that obvious.  If it is verbal of course there won't be visible signs such as this)
•  The abuse happens everyday or several times per week (It may be infrequent - once per month or a few times per week.  It may not happen again for years but if the person does not recognize that they have a problem and then choose to do something about it it will likely happen again)
•  It is only abuse if I was hit, punched, sexually assaulted, etc.  (Abuse takes many forms but one main purpose is a means of control.  The abuse may be verbal, emotional, physical, sexual.  If pets or things are being damaged or threatened that is still abuse to you.)